Vol. Stretch No. Pants

Once a year it’s perfectly fine to feel so full you either want to sleep or throw up (or watch football).

Thanksgiving is great, no gifts, just food coma.

So how many open mouths are going to present themselves at your Thanksgiving table? A dozen, two? No matter the number, it’s critical you don’t do all the preparation yourself. One dish, that’s it. It means you’re not a dead duck for your own huge family/friends spread and you can actually enjoy yourself. Me? I always bring pumpkin pie, nothing else, well, maybe ice cream. Upon reflection, since there are more calories consumed collectively at Thanksgiving than at any other recognized feast in the year, I strongly recommend you make an effort to lessen ceiling-flying by serving sugar-free Cool Whip on the four pumpkin pies. (And, you ask, what’s the point?)

What do the universe and your waist after Thanksgiving dinner have in common? (They’re both expanding)

Here’s the thing -- I personally can’t wait to have left over turkey breast covered with tons of cold store-bought jellied cranberry sauce, which is what I was raised with, and so forget the fancy homemade stuff. And of course, micro-waved stuffing, tons and tons of stuffing, for breakfast. Forget the green beans, the casseroles, and the wimpy salads only that very strange relative brings. Please tell me you guys do the same thing, and you love it. Then it’s turkey salad – nope, I’m done until next Thanksgiving.

Be sure to go around the table and everyone tells what they’re most thankful for – if this isn’t a tradition, make it one starting on the 26th.

It’s Black Friday and I just got a new iPhone for my husband. I think it’s a good trade.

Lots of fun coming up, just round the corner.

I wish you all a wonderful Thanksgiving and leftovers and, count them – four, yes, FOUR football games –

Catherine Coulter

On the pier at Cavallo Point

Believe it or not, this is Society Garlic