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Vol. Jets No. Screwed

We've now gotten through the first week of the NFL football season. Those of you who happen to care about football, the Jets were so excited — they'd built up the team, great defense and they signed Aaron Rodgers from Green Bay, a veteran and a Super Bowl quarterback, needless to say, for very big bucks. Excitement filled the air, fans filled the stadium Monday night, everyone was excited over the moon. Five minutes in, four plays and Rodgers gets sacked and is hurt — the air goes out of the stadium. How bad? No one knows, he did walk into the locker room on his own, so could that be a positive sign? Then the news hit -- Rodgers has a torn achilles tendon and is out for the year. Retirement? Who knows? What will happen now? Tears flow. Depression settles like a black fog. What to do? Talking heads are throwing out names like confetti. The Jets can't get Tom Brady, he's retired. So, who will ride in on his white horse and save this nearly ready-for-prime-time team? If you have ideas how to resuscitate New York, come to and stick in your two cents.

As some of you might remember, come football season I start wrapping Christmas presents. I can feel your shock, your absolutely disbelief. What in the name of all that's rational are you doing? Have I tottered finally round the bed? Could be true, but nevertheless, I used to wrap a gazillion presents but now I'm doing gift cards, primarily for kids who want weird things, and actually wrapped presents for only those I'll see in person and there's no way around that. So not more than 100. Yes, only 100 — I can hear you calling the funny farm people to come take me away. Yeah, yeah, they probably have me on speed dial.

FLASHPOINT, the 27th FBI thriller, is winging its way east by the end of the week to William Morrow, my publisher. No certainty yet about the publication date next year. I'll tell you as soon as I know since there's no doubt you'll be racing to pre-order. Right?

Don't forget the Autumn Solstice — the 23rd you will dress yourself in a long white robe with rope wrapped around your waist. If you don't happen to have rope sandals, flip flops will do (if discreet) and head to the woods. Use a stick to make a nice big circle -- no fire, never a fire in the woods — turn your cell phone on to September by Earth, Wind, and Fire, and sing at the top of your lungs and dance, baby, dance.

And here comes Halloween — talk about scary, stores are already pushing candy and skeletons, and that makes me think about pumpkin pie — so who cares if it's a bit early? Pie, pie, is there anything on earth better than pumpkin pie?

Catherine Coulter

A once-in-a-lifetime shot, Angel Island in the background
A once-in-a-lifetime shot, Angel Island in the background.