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Vol. 572 no. 111


Happy Gorgeous September:  FIRST THING you do BEFORE reading on: Drink a glass of wine or beer, or partake of any other enjoyable substance in your drawer. Are you ready? Okay -- GO: It’s nearly the Autumn Equinox -- when day and night are equal, but beginning Thursday the 23rd, the day is a hair shorter and so days continue losing time until you’re bald when you most need your hair since it’s getting really nippy. VortexYou might wonder why this strange marvel happens every single year. Okay, blame our earth for insisting to turn and keep turning, like it does, and causing time havoc. Are you scratching your head yet? Do you think you might need another glass or something to inhale? I will tell you the truth. Ever since Christmas evolved into at least a week of sugar highs from yummy goodies that magically appear and piles of mysterious boxes wrapped in come-tear-me-apart paper, the decision was made by Those Whose Names Cannot be Said to give people a goose, so to speak, and thus they established the Autumn Equinox so you’d know it was time to start your Christmas shopping and if you didn’t, at least you’d begin to feel guilty every passing shorter day.

Who made it this far? Congrats if you did. Your reward is another libation or inhalation. Me? I don’t libate or inhale. (Now, who said that?)

DEADOCK, mass market paperback, is on its third week on the bestseller list at #8. If you haven’t read DEADLCK, now’s just about a perfect time. No pre-reading aides required. Recommended? Always.

You will want to celebrate the night of the 22nd in the traditional manner which includes, if you don’t recall, 6 white candles and dancing to your favorite rock ‘n roll, clothes optional. And then? Up to you. Don’t forget, you’re celebrating, after all.

While you’re at it, send us some rain here in the far west, actually the farthest, except for Hawaii.

Catherine Coulter

Eli the Protector of Sausalito

I see you, Fake Fido Pirate. I know you want to mess with me. Good luck, boyo.
--Eli, the Protector of Sausalito