Vol. Roses are red, violets are blue

No. I bought chocolate and ate it too.

Happy Valentine's Day:

And what a day it'll be. Did you know that Valentine's Day goes all the way back to Bacchanalian feasts in Roman times? They stuffed their faces maybe with chocolates and cotton candy (well, the Roman equivalent) and because of sanctioned greed, it was a busy day at the local Vomitoriums. Thus, the tradition came down to us, sort of. Those Who Know These Things decided something had to be done since Vomitoriums are frankly disgusting but what to do? Then they dialed it in, announced that on Valentine's Day, you can chow down all the chocolate you want and EVEN LOSE a pound and with no gross after- effects.

I myself am expecting wonderful things on the 14th, and yes, they are pre-ordered amazements. I have asked if the Warriors play that day, they must win, no matter who's the opponent, like any one of the seven teams ahead of us in the conference. I also asked for twelve yellow roses, my fav, in a vase covered with diamonds. (If you believe that one, then discuss this with your mother.)

I got a phone call this morning from a friend who said, first thing, "Hey, CC, why do melons always get married in a church?" Huh? What? Are you all right? A hoot, then, "Because they cantaloupe." You can't make a friend like this up. Since I've known this individual at least forever, then what was I to do? I laughed my head off.

Now, two words about the Super Bowl. Impressive and Boring. I'm sure though there's dancing in the streets in Seattle and Sam Darnell was finally deservedly celebrated. I mean, how could I be happy when the Seachick -- hawks trounced the San Francisco 49ers? Okay, have to think of the SeaChick-hawks as a West Coast team and that's about as good as it gets right now, but that still doesn't make any of us locals feel any better.

Everyone enjoy Valentine's Day with someone you can count on to celebrate with you, perhaps your spouse, perhaps a lover, perhaps a close friend. Best to start with two drinks, then, "Did Adam and Eve ever have a date? No, they had an apple."

Happy Valentine's Day,

Catherine Coulter

The Heir of Whitestone

Plum trees in Mill Valley, California