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Catherine Coulter April 2014 news

Vol. 330  No. 110

Gorgeous April:

No more melt-in-your-socks deep snow, no more bone-rattling winds, no more stick-your-tongue-to-the- flagpole ice storms,  no more Valentine's Day zero-calorie chocolates -- nope, all gone and now what?  Flowers and bright sun and stray thoughts of wild and crazy things you wouldn't tell your mother even now -- it's Spring and it's time to be thankful and rejoice the sun doesn't go down until after 8:00 at night and isn't that wonderful? And to top it off chocolate Easter bunnies are at this very moment hopping out of the forest headed for your basket -- we're talking solid chocolate here, not those wimpy hollow bunnies.

March 2014 Cats

Vol. 773 No. 444

Happy St. Patrick's Day:

      So who actually drinks green beer, eats green mashed potatoes,  and sticks on tattoos of shamrocks all over their body? Or leprechaun tattoos on the butt? If you say yes to any of these, I will send you the Irish Wonker Fairy, maybe you two can out-green each other. (The IWF loves green toenail polish, just a heads up.)

Vol. 773 No. 002

Happy Valentine's Day:

     CHOCOLATES! My very own 2-pound box of CHOCOLATES. What a glorious day, set aside specially to stuff truffles in my mouth without guilt. Add a funny card, maybe a Mexican meal out, and I'm a deliriously happy camper. What could be easier and more satisfying? No male half of the equation has to work too hard to earn big points and, yes, big scrumptious smiles, etc.

Catherine Coulter January 2014 news
Vol. 1900 No. 3579
Happy New Year:

Yeah, so it's a little late, but get into the rhythm with me -- it's now 2014 and we're all getting used to writing it. Fact is, I always felt uncomfortable writing 2013, like it was a Friday and bad luck was always lurking around the corner, like ladders lying in wait, maybe one of them evil, or a really evil mirror poised to smash down on your head.

December 2013 Newsletter

Vol. 66 Number 202

It's not yet the Night Before Christmas, but it'll be here before you know it. Picture yourself putting together a bicycle with  instructions translated from Mongolian, hoping your husband really wears a size 12 running shoe (they're really hot and you got them on sale and no returns), praying your kid won't grow another size since you snagged the last 4 Tall red coat from Pottery Barn Kids (yep, on sale and you can't return it) and knowing to your feet that the clever cat  toys you got for their stockings will bring on cat sneers and disinterest and you'll be putting them out again next Christmas (because cat toys are never on sale) and finally, praying the expensive perfume you got your sister won't turn to vinegar as it spends three days at the bottom of a pile of boxes in a warehouse in South Florida, without air conditioning.

November 2013 Newsletter

Vol. 771 No. 550

Happy Thanksgiving:

What do you think if we simply have Hallothanksmas? That way we could put all the decorations up at once and leave them there for three months. Picture my vulture Brett next to Pilgrim family, the Jawarskys, all sitting in the Thanksgiving hay wagon, parked in front of a gorgeous Christmas Tree with owls on it. What a wonderful image! Okay, write your congressperson, let's make this happen. Since new legislation takes time, do not despair. I believe there are 3, count them, 3, football games on Thanksgiving day and evening, maybe even a late show, so hmm, what's not to like here? Gotta think about this some more. You may weigh in while chowing down homemade cranberry sauce.

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