Catherine News

October 2014 Newsletter

October newsletter

Vol. 338 No. 110

Hello all goblins, witches, Super heroes and their enablers:

I love Halloween even though we've never had a single kid tromp up our driveway in all the years we've lived here.  This is because the enabler takes one look at the hill to be climbed and does a fast about-face. This is a huge bummer. However, I always buy candy by the bushel, which means everyone who steps into the house puts on a good four pounds, and enjoys doing it.

September Newsletter 2014

Vol. 9 Num. 2

Happy Football Season:

If you do not smile at that greeting, well, then, you're wrong and must change your ways -- beginning on Sunday. I am convinced God created Fall for NFL -- so rip open that bag of thick greasy salty corn tortilla chips, smash those avocados, stir in onions and tomatoes, don't forget the smidgeon of hot sauce and climb aboard your sofa and know that what you're doing is God's will.

August Newsletter 2014

Vol. 44 no. 229

Hi Guys:

Wonderful news: I finished the FBI thriller for next summer -- yes, 2015 -- can you believe that? It's titled  NEMESIS -- this title really fits the book. And who is Nemesis? you ask. I'm not going to tell you. Yet.

June 2014 Newsletter

June 2014 Newsletter

Vol. 883 No. 003

Happy Summer Solstice:

Guess what? It continues to be gorgeous weather here and if one were an idiot, one could yawn and proclaim boredom. Since I'd not normally an idiot, I'm basking. Lovely tan, the cats are gamboling through the marigolds, the Meyer lemons are busting off the trees.

May 2014 Newsletter

May 2014 Newsletter

Vol. 448 No. 881

Happy May you be happy:

I love Hump Day. Now, forget the camel for a moment: something really cool you want to LOOK AT right this minute: Go to this web site now: http://brendanovak.auctionanything.com  You can bid to have lunch with me in Sausalito (Yep, I'm only paying for lunch, forget the private jet, that's a myth), you can bid to have a lunch with J.T. Ellison and me in San Antonio (again, no jet, probably Mexican) on July 26th and you can bid on my books as well as others and get them autographed. Plus, there's a gazillion other great things you can bid on and ALL proceeds go to support  juvenile diabetes research. So you can get stuff you really like and you earn both virtue and non-sucky karma points.

April 2014 Newsletter

Catherine Coulter April 2014 news

Vol. 330  No. 110

Gorgeous April:

No more melt-in-your-socks deep snow, no more bone-rattling winds, no more stick-your-tongue-to-the- flagpole ice storms,  no more Valentine's Day zero-calorie chocolates -- nope, all gone and now what?  Flowers and bright sun and stray thoughts of wild and crazy things you wouldn't tell your mother even now -- it's Spring and it's time to be thankful and rejoice the sun doesn't go down until after 8:00 at night and isn't that wonderful? And to top it off chocolate Easter bunnies are at this very moment hopping out of the forest headed for your basket -- we're talking solid chocolate here, not those wimpy hollow bunnies.

March 2014 Newsletter

March 2014 Cats

Vol. 773 No. 444

Happy St. Patrick's Day:

      So who actually drinks green beer, eats green mashed potatoes,  and sticks on tattoos of shamrocks all over their body? Or leprechaun tattoos on the butt? If you say yes to any of these, I will send you the Irish Wonker Fairy, maybe you two can out-green each other. (The IWF loves green toenail polish, just a heads up.)

February Newsletter 2014

Vol. 773 No. 002

Happy Valentine's Day:

     CHOCOLATES! My very own 2-pound box of CHOCOLATES. What a glorious day, set aside specially to stuff truffles in my mouth without guilt. Add a funny card, maybe a Mexican meal out, and I'm a deliriously happy camper. What could be easier and more satisfying? No male half of the equation has to work too hard to earn big points and, yes, big scrumptious smiles, etc.

January Newsletter 2014

Catherine Coulter January 2014 news
Vol. 1900 No. 3579
Happy New Year:

Yeah, so it's a little late, but get into the rhythm with me -- it's now 2014 and we're all getting used to writing it. Fact is, I always felt uncomfortable writing 2013, like it was a Friday and bad luck was always lurking around the corner, like ladders lying in wait, maybe one of them evil, or a really evil mirror poised to smash down on your head.

December Newsletter 2013

December 2013 Newsletter

Vol. 66 Number 202

It's not yet the Night Before Christmas, but it'll be here before you know it. Picture yourself putting together a bicycle with  instructions translated from Mongolian, hoping your husband really wears a size 12 running shoe (they're really hot and you got them on sale and no returns), praying your kid won't grow another size since you snagged the last 4 Tall red coat from Pottery Barn Kids (yep, on sale and you can't return it) and knowing to your feet that the clever cat  toys you got for their stockings will bring on cat sneers and disinterest and you'll be putting them out again next Christmas (because cat toys are never on sale) and finally, praying the expensive perfume you got your sister won't turn to vinegar as it spends three days at the bottom of a pile of boxes in a warehouse in South Florida, without air conditioning.

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