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Catherine Coulter December 2017 Newsletter

December Newsletter cats

Vol. 188 Number 122

Merry Christmas!

Imagine, 100,000 presents under a big Hungarian pine tree (I suppose the tree could be Romanian or French). So many presents it sort of makes the tree bulge out, and 99% of the presents have kids' names on them. Now picture a herd of sugar-laden, off-the-wall excited kiddos racing toward that tree and its big bulge, being chased by parents who are sugar-laden as well (maybe with an added shot of Granny's whiskey) and, to put it right out there – exhausted.

November Newsletter 2017

November Newsletter cats

Vol. 449 No. 117

Have we reached the speed of light yet? I mean this time next week it’s chomping down on a turkey leg (not! only breast), wallowing in the cornbread and sausage dressing, the marshmallow-soaked sweet potatoes – sorry, got to stop, my thighs are pulsing.

Catherine Coulter October 2017 Newsletter

October Cats

Vol. 343 Number 127

Happy Halloween:

I’m sorry to be the one to break this to many of you, but it’s now Fall, very nearly Halloween, and time to pull out the long johns or the short johns, depending. Who amongst you believe time is relative? How about fleeting? How about fickle?

Catherine Coulter September 2017 Newsletter

Sep 2017 cats
Vol. 000 No. OOO (this is 2017 zero hour, folks)
 
Happy September:

Parents, grandparents, finally you’ve got the kiddos back to school. The house is suddenly empty. And clean. Football season (pro and college) is about to start, so that’s a big positive, but really, not enough. So after you exercise your brains out, what will you do with yourself? I have a rather fabulous suggestion: snuggle into an easy chair, put your feet up, gently place a nice glass of something exciting at your elbow and open a good book that just happens to be titled ENIGMA

Catherine Coulter August 2017 Newsletter

August Newsletter cats

Vol. 770 No. 325

If you’re melting in the August heat and it isn’t a pretty sight, I’ve got a plan for you, actually I’ve got three plans for you, maybe three and a half, but you can’t pick and choose – you gotta embrace all three (and a half) plans. You want to know the best thing about these incredibly special, non-heating activities? You will not sweat because you can be hunkered down by the a/c as you begin to follow my exact instructions for all three (and a half) plans. Okay, here we go:

Catherine Coulter July 2017 Newsletter

July Newsletter Cats

Vol. 007 No. 007A

HAPPY MIDDLE OF SUMMER: Big, Gorgeous July, and I know you’re off lying on warm sand or visiting with your family or snow skiing in New Zealand. And what is yours truly doing throughout this big gorgeous July, you might wonder? Do you think yours truly is yodeling on top of the Alps, looking down at both Switzerland and Italy, and doesn’t that sound weird? Of maybe YT is off fishing in an incredibly cold crystal clear lake in Alberta?

Catherine Coulter June 2017 Newsletter

June 2017 calendar cats

Vol. 765 Number 567

It’s the middle of June and all through the house, I’m wrapping presents because it’s time for the yearly family reunion at the Outer Banks.  Those who have resisted in the past are now coming out with it -- I’m nuts.  And you’re saying, well, agreed, it’s not Christmas, the time of your yearly insanity, which can be rationalized. But this? Have you lost it completely? Sigh – yes.  But everyone in the family deserves at least one present plus flip flops for everyone and hats and beach bags and tops and shirts, not to mention all the kids’ goodies, I mean, I don’t want to be a present slacker.

Catherine Coulter May 2017 Newsletter

Catherine Coulter May 2017 Newsletter cats

Vol. 330 No. 444

Yes, I know the May newsletter is late, but I was walking in the rain for a week (Yes, England), visiting Aunt Harrods (shoes) and the British Library (research for the 5th BRIT in the FBI series), the cutest baby in the universe (parents good breeders), and trying to avoid stepping into water traps on the sidewalks of London at night.

Catherine Coulter April 2017 Newsletter

April newsletter cats

Vol. 660 No. 229

Goodness gracious, it’s TAX time. Are all of you chomping at the bit? Can’t wait to pay the Feds mo’ money, mo’ money? What to do? Bite the bullet, muchachos, keep that chin up and walk head high through that long dark tunnel. If you see a white light, you’re not dead, it means you’re almost through, safely intact, or nearly, for another year. And it’s best not to look back. Go get a margarita right now.

Catherine Coulter March 2017 Newsletter

March Newsletter Cats

Vol. 031 No. 500

Beware the Ides of March. I wondered for a long time what Ides meant, I mean, something like March eyes seeing something you did wrong? Okay, don’t beg, I’ll tell you. Ides is from the old Roman calendar, roughly the middle day of each month, all made famous by Julius Caesar and Shakespeare because it’s the actual day (March 15, 44 BC) Julius Caesar went (unwillingly) to the Great Beyond by the hand of his good bud Brutus, later of Pop Eye fame.

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