Catherine News

Catherine Coulter March 2018 Newsletter

Vol. 666 No. 999

The Ides of March is nearly here, at our front doors, staring at us through the window, ready to waltz in and spit in our eyes or pinch our earlobes. Be careful, the ides aren’t something to mess around with, except for minions, who are their best friends.

The weather this month of March is hammering many of you on the east coast. To be accurate, these horrendous storms are not to be termed nor’-easters, rather, the correct term is The Lion’s Roar. Buck up, the month is supposed to go out like a lamb. Stay tuned.

Catherine Coulter February 2018 Newsletter

Poor February, a meager, nearly scrawny month of the year. It’s barely hanging on to month-dom. Let’s do something for weedy February, something awesome, something significant, something majorly fun, so February gets to enjoy our active brain-time for at least one year. Let me know what you decide to do if you join this program to Immortalize February.

Catherine Coulter January 2018 Newsletter

Vol. 222 No. 015

I know, it’s amazing, it’s freaky, it’s unbelievable, yet it’s here and we must accept it, and shudder --- 2018 --- Yes, you read the numbers right, it’s nearly to the 2020’s, nearly a hundred years since the 1920’s. And what do the 1920’s make you think of? Dancing the Charleston, short skirts, clever stockings, bobbed hair, everyone drinking their brains out and smoking their lungs into pulpy gray yuck? Women led the way – it was a time of wonderful expression of freedom and this is what it looked like and danced like and cut its hair like – (alas, smoked like). As for the men -- ‘hey, it’s really sweet to look at a woman’s legs and not be thought a perv.’ Remember before WWI, women wore corsets, petticoats and dresses brushing the ground. And they never smoked and they tippled in private. What will happen when the clock turns to 2020? My prediction is there will be a complete resurgence of everything from the 1920’s, including clothes, dances, hair styles, speak easies. And the media, the fashionistas, movies and books, advertising, etc., will be portraying the roaring twenties and you and I will eagerly embrace any and all things roaring.

Catherine Coulter December 2017 Newsletter

December Newsletter cats

Vol. 188 Number 122

Merry Christmas!

Imagine, 100,000 presents under a big Hungarian pine tree (I suppose the tree could be Romanian or French). So many presents it sort of makes the tree bulge out, and 99% of the presents have kids' names on them. Now picture a herd of sugar-laden, off-the-wall excited kiddos racing toward that tree and its big bulge, being chased by parents who are sugar-laden as well (maybe with an added shot of Granny's whiskey) and, to put it right out there – exhausted.

November Newsletter 2017

November Newsletter cats

Vol. 449 No. 117

Have we reached the speed of light yet? I mean this time next week it’s chomping down on a turkey leg (not! only breast), wallowing in the cornbread and sausage dressing, the marshmallow-soaked sweet potatoes – sorry, got to stop, my thighs are pulsing.

Catherine Coulter October 2017 Newsletter

October Cats

Vol. 343 Number 127

Happy Halloween:

I’m sorry to be the one to break this to many of you, but it’s now Fall, very nearly Halloween, and time to pull out the long johns or the short johns, depending. Who amongst you believe time is relative? How about fleeting? How about fickle?

Catherine Coulter September 2017 Newsletter

Sep 2017 cats
Vol. 000 No. OOO (this is 2017 zero hour, folks)
Happy September:

Parents, grandparents, finally you’ve got the kiddos back to school. The house is suddenly empty. And clean. Football season (pro and college) is about to start, so that’s a big positive, but really, not enough. So after you exercise your brains out, what will you do with yourself? I have a rather fabulous suggestion: snuggle into an easy chair, put your feet up, gently place a nice glass of something exciting at your elbow and open a good book that just happens to be titled ENIGMA

Catherine Coulter August 2017 Newsletter

August Newsletter cats

Vol. 770 No. 325

If you’re melting in the August heat and it isn’t a pretty sight, I’ve got a plan for you, actually I’ve got three plans for you, maybe three and a half, but you can’t pick and choose – you gotta embrace all three (and a half) plans. You want to know the best thing about these incredibly special, non-heating activities? You will not sweat because you can be hunkered down by the a/c as you begin to follow my exact instructions for all three (and a half) plans. Okay, here we go:

Catherine Coulter July 2017 Newsletter

July Newsletter Cats

Vol. 007 No. 007A

HAPPY MIDDLE OF SUMMER: Big, Gorgeous July, and I know you’re off lying on warm sand or visiting with your family or snow skiing in New Zealand. And what is yours truly doing throughout this big gorgeous July, you might wonder? Do you think yours truly is yodeling on top of the Alps, looking down at both Switzerland and Italy, and doesn’t that sound weird? Of maybe YT is off fishing in an incredibly cold crystal clear lake in Alberta?

Catherine Coulter June 2017 Newsletter

June 2017 calendar cats

Vol. 765 Number 567

It’s the middle of June and all through the house, I’m wrapping presents because it’s time for the yearly family reunion at the Outer Banks.  Those who have resisted in the past are now coming out with it -- I’m nuts.  And you’re saying, well, agreed, it’s not Christmas, the time of your yearly insanity, which can be rationalized. But this? Have you lost it completely? Sigh – yes.  But everyone in the family deserves at least one present plus flip flops for everyone and hats and beach bags and tops and shirts, not to mention all the kids’ goodies, I mean, I don’t want to be a present slacker.