December Newsletter 2012

The whale swallowed me on Christmas - Eli

Where's The elf? - Peyton

Vol. 21 No. 12

Friday the 21st is 'put up or shut up' time. The ancient Mayans either forecasted our doom in three days time or they simply ran out of calendar rocks. The earth either splits apart and hurls all of us hither and yon or we are frantically buying our last Christmas presents, and praying to the God of Pity that our giftees like them.

I picture one lone Mayan standing high atop a big honker pyramid, hands cupped around his mouth, shouting, "Sorry, suckerrrrs, you're gone on 12/21/2012!" Another Mayan (this one's bald) sits back on his golden throne, wisely nods his head, points his finger, and says, "Make it so."

The thing is, though, if the ancient Mayans were able to forecast the end of time, this means they had BIG BAD magic. I ask you,  who on earth then could ever take them out? Surely not Spanish hooligans who didn't even bathe, and had only horses and guns with one bullet? I mean, no magic there. Sprinkle in nasty European diseases -- bodda bing badda boom -- and the ancient Mayans were gone.

So, when (and if) you wake up on the 21st, lie there a moment, maybe stretch a bit,  and say aloud,  "Carpe diem." Now get yourself dressed and go shopping. Most of all, have fun and be grateful we're all still tethered to the lovely earth.

Merry Christmas!

Catherine Coulter