Catherine Coulter January 2016 Newsletter

January Newsletter Cats

My New Years gift to you - My enchanting self - Ely

Vol. 886 No. 330

Yep, it's 2016, no way around it, no going back, and isn't that just like Time? Always moving in only one direction regardless of what you want. So you survived Christmas and New Year's Eve and like an intelligent being you watched that shiny ball drop at midnight on the 31st to the accompaniment of a million + voices shouting the countdown. Then you took yourself off to bed, with only one glass of champagne swimming around in your blood stream. Well done.

I have a question: who decided that a shiny ball be the focal point of the changing year? And when they (who are they?) push the button to dribble this big shiny ball down to the ground, does it smash into bits or does it have a space-shuttle landing? Then what happens to the shiny ball? Do they plan to use it for the next hundred New Years Eves or do they have to spend taxpayer money to build a new one every year and the poor old ball gets rolled into the gutter? No, I refuse to Google this.

Now that I've got that off my chest, I must also point out that everyone in Times Square, on hand for the actual shiny ball's first  or last descent, has to consider the consequences of NO BATHROOM AVAILABLE-- ANYWHERE -- and so the very first thing they do in the New Year is look for a bathroom. I got a suggestion: Your first new year's resolution for next year is to watch situational TV and not be caught with your pants down.

Guess what? Off on Friday to St. Lucia -- that's in the Caribbean, or somewhere like that, I heard. To get there from the West Coast, we're talking planes, trains, cars, skateboards, The Thumb -- or so it seems. Actually, to get from SFO to St. Lucia, we're talking  three planes and a helicopter, and what's with this no non-stop flights to Miami?

Now on St. Lucia with no more questions or concerns or whines. Ready to veg out.  If you have any suggestions of what neat places to see or where to eat food to make your thighs pulse under your tan, email me at ReadMoi@gmail.com. Also, if you don't get this newsletter, you can email the same place, with really good results.

PLAYOFFS: Who's disgusted with those yahoo Bengals? Should the coach walk the plank along with these two?  And then we have that poor Vikings' kicker who missed the winning field goal  (and I do mean winning) from the 13th yard line with less than a minute to go in the game. HE MISSED. Should he be sent to Moscow, there to keep the Kremlin sparkly and shiny like the New Year's Eve ball?

Catherine Coulter