December Newsletter 2015

December Cats

I was an amazing cat this year - Cleo

Are you reading my GQ? - Eli
Is that you Santa? - Peyton

Vol. 77 Number 49

Merry Christmas One and All:

Have you ever wondered what Santa does on the 26th? I mean he's worked his ample self Christmas Eve, finishing up at the crack of dawn on the 25th -- so you know he slept all day, count on it. But the 26th?  Do you think he returns presents from Mrs. Santa? Like that nose-warmer for Rudolph that shorted out and laid poor Rudolph low? Or that pair of knit socks she bought him on Amazon to wear making his deliveries but they unraveled? But maybe he spends the 26th going to all the stores and buying wrapping paper half off so his elves can get busy really early, like I do, the first NFL game in September? I vote for this.  As the Number One Great Sahib Elf, the Supreme Highness Elf, I think the  more half-price wrapping paper, bags, ribbons -- do not forget a truckload of scotch tape -- the better. Consider -- if you only ask for FOOD for Christmas for your present, there will absolutely be no returns.

To give you an idea of what half-priced wrapping paper, an NFL game,  and an elf soul can accomplish, go to and click on the video.  You might decide this Grand Poobah Elf needs a padded room,  but then again --

As for Christmas, it's off again back East to be with family. I will say this: the great majority of my family look at what I do at Christmas and vote for the padded room.

I wish you all the very best Christmas imaginable and don't forget, it's a day to be grateful for your family and friends,  and naturally, your critters.