Who wants toilet paper draped all over their outside bushes? Or washable bright purple paint tossed on the white garage door, or Cleo and Eli dressed in Frankenstein and Igor costumes? (Peyton is the original Cheshire cat, curling whiskers in a fat grin, and he's too fast for the tricksters to catch.)
Of course you don't want toilet paper on your foliage, you want TREATS, lots and lots of treats. You lay them out in neat rows on your living room floor. You soldier-line up the same type of candy in the first long row (like chocolate, pecans, pure sugar you can lick right off the top). The second row are the dreaded apples --given out by your neighborhood health freaks. And your last row -- blessed be -- Snickers Bars. So, you pick -- toilet paper or sugar?
Thank you for reading Power Play, Nemesis, The Lost Key and The End Game. Wow, all have done super on the bestseller lists, and that's a lot of books for you to buy in a short time. I predict because of your excellent taste, you will achieve happiness and flat abs. If you've made excuses and maybe even FORGOTTEN that the books were even written, much less out there and ready to leap into your arms -- nah, no one could do that.
I know, you got stranded in the Gobi desert and didn't get back to civilization (bookstores or the internet) so only now can you get the very excellent books (mine, naturally, screw the others). Prepare to be happy, and yes, the flat abs (a miraculous bonus) are in the mail.
And now, for something serious: The 49ers beat the Ravens on Sunday. There was a collective sigh of relief heard throughout this great state of California. Listen, 49ers: You are all amazing athletes, you can achieve it all. Foot on the Ravens' necks, that's a great start.
Serious, Part 2: My 20th FBI coming out next year, is now titled: INSIDIOUS. I'm giving you two scary mysteries that will twist you into a pretzel, and give you a paper burn because you're turning those pages so fast. I hit page 400 this morning and now all the monsters are bursting out of the gate. I can't type fast enough. Goodness, slow down my heart.
The 4th book (count them, already 4) in The BRIT in the FBI series, is what I'd call super-Bond ( yes, Nicholas has glorious flat abs -- he buys all my books). I'm going to scare your socks off and ignite your hair in this thriller titled THE DEVIL'S TRIANGLE. Remember Kitsune (Kit-Soon) from THE FINAL CUT? She's back and up to her old ways.
Be ready for Halloween, a perfect Saturday night this year, when all the toads and princes will be hopping about, hoping the health freak neighbors went to a tofu convention and left a house-sitter who believes in celebrating junk food on Halloween, particularly Snickers.
Have fun and send a stream of prayers for the 49ers continued success, if you please.